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Roads Well Travelled
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Somewhere Over the Rainbow

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Hello, I am James Sander-Cederlof. I live in Deming, New Mexico. I hold a B.S. in Computer Science and have a minor in Mathematics from Western New Mexico University in Silver City, New Mexico. I worked for a company in Las Cruces for four years that writes a program that runs on top of AutoCAD to help design and document a facility. I also taught Mathematics at Western New Mexico University from 1999 - 2004. Some of my hobbies are computers, mathematics, reading, video games, and teaching and/or tutoring in computers and in mathematics.

Baptism icon

Why I chose to be baptized

I kept feeling that still, inner voice calling me saying that I needed to be faithful in this area of my life.  I was already confident of my salvation, but I kept reflecting back on how this was the next step.  I knew I needed to be baptized, but kept my inner struggle to myself.  This just kept eating away at me, and I could find no rest from this inner voice.  Every week, our pastor would remind us of the importance of getting things straight with our Savior, yet I was missing the mark for over a year.  I could never recall being baptized for any right reason, nor could the other people I talked to about it. Finally after the year long struggle, trying to push it from my mind, thinking I was in control of the situation, was when I broke.

This pride was my big downfall.  I thought myself above the situation and I certainly didn't need to get this area straight with God.  I kept thinking during that year that perhaps I was baptized and I knew what I was doing.  As the year progressed, it became clearer to me as I was spiraling out of control in certain areas that I was deceiving myself, and I would need to put my pride aside and admit that I was not in control, but rather I needed to hand control over to Jesus.

I remember a dream I had one night that I was reflecting back on all my past sins, and how, and why, would Jesus love and forgive me.  The end of that dream was me, at the foot of the cross, and Jesus hanging on the cross, being crucified.  In my dream, He looked at me and said,  "You, my son, are forgiven."

That dream, which happened before the year long struggle, did not even get me on the final track, but it was assurance of my salvation to me, for I had been questioning that in my mind.  My life kept going out of control, and I could not seem to stop it.  My pride kept holding me back.

Once I began to listen to the still, inner voice that kept calling to me, Satan would choose to rear his ugly head now and then and put my pride back into it.  I would do fine for a while.  I then became comfortable with my life and thought I was the one who was having the strength through any struggle I encountered.  That pride would lead me to a downfall, where I would reach out for God once again and use His strength.  This peak and valley situation persisted for many months as I was sorting out my decision and trying, wanting, to get rid of my pride.

This inner struggle was tearing me apart, but I was hiding my turmoil from everyone: Family, friends, myself, and even trying to hide it from our Savior.  Eventually, I could not run from myself, nor God.  He overcame me and started showing me my errors.  Here, He was being faithful and just to me, yet I was not returning His love, which He wanted.  All He wanted from me at that time was the step of faith into baptism.  Knowing I needed to do this, I now just needed the right time.

On April 10, 2005, our pastor announced there was going to be a baptism on the following Sunday.  I knew I had to make it to this baptism.  I knew this would finally give me peace.  I signed up for the baptism, and immediately Satan began his attack on me to thwart my plans of being baptized.  I realized this and asked for prayer and support through the week.  I survived the week and made it to the baptism.  I was willing to be obedient to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  This act of obedience will now open other doors that I need to be obedient.  This act of baptism was not the end of the journey, but rather a beginning. 

My turmoil over this issue ended April 17, 2005, when I was baptized into our Lord and Savior.

Child icon

What I learned through a child

There are many things we teach children as we watch them grow up. We expect them to learn these things. But, if we pay attention, there are valuable lessons we can learn from them.

One day I learned that I was being a jerk. The incident is summarized here. Through that incident I have learned that my choices affect those around me. I may never meet that child again, but the brief encounter we shared has made a huge impact on me.

God decided to use someone, who would seem to have little signifigance, to change my life. I was able to listen and hear the voice from that small child. We do not get to pick and choose how God will communicate with us.

God cried out to me through that child. He probably tried other ways before this incident, but I was too stubborn to try to listen to Him. We need to learn to have patience, and we need to have the willingness to listen to God. It is for our benefit when He speaks to us.

This incident happened to me because I was too proud. I thought I was God. I thought I held all the power. I now realize I was foolish to try to be God. It took a child to show me the way God wanted me to behave.

I would like to thank that child for delivering this message from God.

Last updated on 5/15/11
Site contents © 2011 James Sander-Cederlof
Proverbs 30:5-9